I've Been Called Out!

This is embarrassing to admit to: but recently a friend said she thought I wasn't being upfront enough. That I was keeping something unsaid. And after thinking about it more, I guess that was true.

She said that with my Summer 2017 Collection, 'Nature, Muted' I never really said specifically what was bothering me. Although I reiterated that I was concerned over environmental issues, I never claimed what those issues were in detail.

Okay, fair enough. 

What I will say is that much of it is a general uneasiness and feeling of helplessness when I see the continuing news reports about congressmen and government leaders refuting scientific claims and denying climate change. Like I want to do something more in some way, but I'm not necessarily sure what that is. 

Likewise, I'm getting a sense that people in general don't really want to hear about it or don't believe there's anything wrong with carving up/cutting down/fracking/and generally not trying to preserve nature for future generations. 

But why haven't I gotten more specific? To be honest, I think there's a bit of fear of alienating some people or offending someone with my opinions. It's a bit safer to stay on the surface of something right?

So here are two very specific things that occurred while I was in the process of creating this collection that had a direct effect on my mindset and work:

1. The March for Science ~ On Earth Day (April 22), there was a major march on Washington (and elsewhere around the globe) in support of science, scientists and scientific evidence. With proposed budget cuts looming, the non-partisan rally was intended to show lawmakers that scientific facts should play a key role in policy making. As my mom said: "Who would've ever thought we'd see the day where we have to speak up to defend scientists?" Right? Scientific method is how the laws of nature and the world are discovered; it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that someone wouldn't agree. Read More about the March

2. Strawberries - Okay, this one is super scary, especially as a pregnant person. There is a chemical, chlorpyrifos, which has been shown to "inhibit kids' brain development" (especially through exposure in utero). It has been banned in use in household products since 2000 but has still be used as a pesticide in farming (particularly on nuts and strawberries....two things I've been eating a ton of recently :/ ). In 2015, the EPA finally said that the risks were too high to continue using this chemical in farming, but they never went so far as to ban it. Recently, the courts said that the EPA had to make a decision. That decision was made in March 2017, when the EPA announced that they would not be banning the chemical and that it was fine to use. Well. The EPA cited disagreement with the methodology used in the studies that found that chlorpyrifos was too harmful. EPA Press Release and Other Commentary. There's gotta be a better way; this gets me really anxious.

Hopefully I haven't offended anyone too badly. I'm obviously not an expert in these matters, but my gut reactions are of fear and anger and wanting to do more. And that's basically it, in an organic nutshell.

xo

Arts Letters & Numbers ~ Wrapping It All Up

As I look back at my time at Arts Letters & Numbers, I needed this week away from normal life to expand my horizons both literally and figuratively. Feeling a bit cooped up in NYC, but being totally unaware of the fact, it was lovely to get into the space of Upstate New York countryside and meet new people and discuss new ideas.

Look how beautiful these organic eggs are ~ I've never seen naturally green, blue and pink ones before!

While it took me a while to find a groove with the outcomes of my paintings, the Arts Letters & Numbers residency allowed me the room to follow my circling trains of thought, explore painting processes and stretch my expectations for myself.

I've come away a bit calmer and assured that if I follow my instinct, it doesn't really matter what the outcome is because the larger connection between seemingly dissonant ideas is me.

On Sunday, I revealed my paintings for my fellow residents for their feedback and critique. And here's what I learned:

1. It's scary to put yourself out there to be judged. I was shaky trying to express my thoughts.

2. What people see in my work is how it makes them feel first and my messaging second. This was good news because it's what I'm going for!

3. They helped me to crystalize the words to say that this collection is about my emotions as they relate to the changing world as modeled through landscape. They are introspective, but not serene.

4. I've finalized the idea that this collection is "Nature, Muted" not the other way around. Because it's more than just neutral abstract landscapes. These paintings encapsulate my anxiety around not being able to fully see the landscape as societal trends are indifferent to its destruction. In this way, nature is itself muted, in that we can't hear it; and some don't want to hear it and are't interested in its preservation.

But while all of that seems heavy, the paintings themselves can be seen as sending that emotional message, or they can be something benign to behold. As always, I invite others' interpretations and emotions to surface about my work.

"Nature, Muted" paintings will be for sale on Wednesday June 14th (Flag Day!)

Arts Letters & Numbers ~ The Critique

Saturday evening saw a quick trip to the grocery store and a collaborative dinner effort between Dan and me to make homemade pizzas (him) and frozen butternut squash ravioli (me). Clearly it was not a fair trade. But we had a lovely time shooting the breeze in the kitchen all evening, and his pesto pizza was beyond.

After finally finding a rhythm in my painting that spoke to me (it only took 5 days and to the near end of my residency), it was time to pull everything I'd been working on together.

My sunny writing and coffee spot most mornings here at Arts Letters & Numbers

To recap, I'd initially started the week wanting to mute out formal landscape paintings to create soft abstracts. I went down that path and wasn't in love with what I was producing, so I turned to my back up project: penning (or painting) short words or phrases that kept bubbling up for me in moments of annoyance ~ with people, situations and really the overall feeling of society at this moment in history.

This got me thinking about all the ways in which we are angry right now, but in particular this week, the degradation and disregard for science and the environment which is clearly being trumpeted from the top down. Really, what the hell? It's truly beyond comprehension for me and so many others that the importance of nature and science is paramount to the rest of our lives.

I've always felt a deep connection with the outdoors growing up in the woods. I've never been one for camping but just being outside is enough to make me feel bright and shiny and happy.

So as I started to look at the body of work I'd created over the past week, I saw some commonality amongst the chaos. While yes, this has been a time of transition for me and for all of us, we must consider what our message is and how we communicate that effectively.

What truly cuts more to the heart of it is an underlying angst about the ideas and policies that have seemingly been foisted upon us without our consent.

As I wrap it all together, I see this body of work that I've created this week as a statement of the FRUSTRATION I'm feeling and witnessing around me. Frustration at the slow (or maybe rapid?) destruction of the environment and the words and phrases that bounce around my head in annoyance.

Does that all make sense? Well one would see...

Morning on the front porch